HIDDEN by Pete

someone's hidden my beef'n'cheddar from Arby's!!! Who's done this monstrocity? This is this highest of all offenses! And, where the hell are my loaded potato poppers?! You will pay B'n'C theif...You will pay!!!

HIDDEN by Jamie

hidden under the tree lies my secret box. i have lots and lots of special things in there. i have the pink sticker mommy got my for my birthday. i have a piece of candy i took from ms. mandy's desk when she wasn't looking. mommy and daddy don't know about it. so don't tell them. i dug under the tree for a long long time and then i put the box in there and then i covered it up with dirt. shhhh make sure you don't tell.

SOOTHE by Jamie

I couldn't soothe the child. hysterical and red faced, she sat there screaming, eyes squeezed shut, hand grasped tight around my own. little beads of sweat formed at the base of her hair line and trickled slowly down her face, mixing with her tears.

SOOTHE by Pete

to soothe the fact that I just lost $88 in 25mins on bodog, I'm planning on jumping out my window. That or just throwing this fucking computer out. This is pretty standard, though. I finally start building back up and, bang! LOSE, LOSE, LOSE. All with hands against shit and I'm back to the street.

SENTENCE by Jamie

Isn't language weird? i mean how many different languages exist on this earth? and they are all, nothing but a jumbled assortment of noises, no one even pays attention to the words that are spoken, nor do we ever think about actually speaking, it just comes out. and sometimes, this is not a good thing.

SENTENCE by Pete

my sentence was 25 yrs. It was for murder. That's right! Murder! All because I killed that banana split from Dairy Queen...not F'n Twisty Treat! I HATE Twisty Treat. They are next as soon as I get my dessert parole.

UNION by Pete

the state of the union is strong. stronger now than it was 8 yrs ago. The economy is on its way up, unemployment is down and jobs are being created.

What is...something John McCain might say?

Correct!

I'll take economics for $800, Alec.

COMPLETE hair, you're welcome! by pete F-U!

i wish i was complete hair, like an italian ape, goldon retriever, stallone. if I was, i could own, like hair club 4 men in summer on the shores of Jersesy...why does this sentence have to end? FUCK YOU! it doesn't, ya a carpet chested baboon curtain. how's that banana and the drape manufacturing industry? Look what the cat dragged in, poison.  every rose has its thorn and if ya rub it the wrong direction you'll get the crap. Yes, you ARE a clown to me, undo another button, FUCK!

EVENT by Pete

in the event of a cheese eating contest, start with all sharp cheeses and work your way down to mild. Begin with the most deep yellow of cheeses and head to the lighter and most often crumbliest, ie. work from sharp cheddar to gorgonzola.

EVENT by Jamie

it was the last event of the evening, and it would end up being the most surprising. everyone was in their seats, legs crossed, and patiently waiting. and soon enough, we saw him appear, and watched as he took his time climbing the stairs. silence covered the room, we had all been waiting to hear his response.

eh that was pretty dumb

Raw by Whitney

beef. cow. ribs, steak... meat meat meat. slaughter house, electric cow prods. Like the one my dad was almost killed with when he was little. Way to go gramps. Taking out the kids one by one. bastard. burn in hell.

RAW by Pete

I was eating raw steaks with m'buddy, Sam and we decided that Homer mouth isn't as bad as it may seem at first sight. Although, it is definitely prominent, it certainly isn't too beefy.

RAW

my skin has gone raw. i've been in this dark, damp hole, for I don't even know how long. it's wet down here. and it's stinks. i've given up on crying for help, no one is here to help me, i'm all alone.

yikes, i don't know what that's about, something about the word "raw" made me feel all silence of the lamb-ish.

SITTING

A girl sits in the chair of a doctors office, and nervously winds the loose string from her shirt around her fingers. She should feel more prepared for this but, her nerves have taken over. Just as she closes her eyes to try and relax herself the assistant calls out her name.

CLIMB

Once when I was little I climbed to the top of the highest tree in my backyard. This tree was always my favorite, for it was the most challenging, yet most rewarding climb. I had gotten close to the top before, but never had I made it all the way up. I started by placing my right foot on the wood plank my Dad and I nailed to the tree for a step, and whipped my body up towards the nearest branch. After going through all the familiar motions I got to my usual stopping point. You see, my legs had never really been long enough to reach the next branch.